The Fly Column: Coverdale and Page - the True Story


Scene: an old abandoned castle next to Loch Ness, Scotland. A stretch-limo pulls up, and David Coverdale gets out.

David [consulting Hammer of the Gods]: This must be the place. [He proceeds to draw a pentangle in the mud.] Now to recite the incantation! [Sings]: I don’t know but I’ve been told, I hear the wolf sniffing round your door, squeeze my lemon.

[Jimmy Page appears in a puff of evil smelling smoke]

Jimmy: Who has summoned me from The Cavern of Remastering?

David: It is I, Master. I bring tidings of Rolf Harris’s mega-hit with Stairway to Heaven.

Jimmy: Surely the hour is at hand for us to ride forth with an album of early 70s heavy rock to resurrect our careers from the crypt.

David: In the name of Beelzebub, may abominations spread over the face of the Earth and plaster casts be made of old men’s prostate glands.

[They both collapse in demonic mirth]

The Fly
Riff Raff
June, 1993
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