The True Story of U2’s Shockingly Bad “Songs of Innocence” Cover Image

You will have heard by now that U2’s latest album was forced on the public by being made a compulsory download on iTunes, and that it sounds like a fart. But how can the extremely disturbing image on the cover be explained?

For industry insiders like myself, alas, it is no mystery. We have always known how the record business works: It's not about what you pluck and blow – it’s about who you fuck and blow! And for this album to get released enough blowing to fill an extremely large hot-air balloon was required.

The official “cover” story of the cover is that the image shows the band’s “pretty boy” drummer Larry Mullen Jr. “protecting” his 18 year old son (from what? we may well ask), and that it resonates with the band's iconic 1980 debut album Boy and the album War, three years later.

Nice story, except that the image is clearly homoerotic, and looks more like an AIDs awareness poster from the 1980s. Also you can’t see the head of the so-called 18-year-old "youth." Just a skinny naked body. Also what normal father and what normal 18-year-old son could ever be photographed in such a manner? Just to ask the question is of course to answer it.

Regarding the image, Bono has gone on record as saying: “We've always been about community in U2, about family and friends. Songs of Innocence is the most intimate album we've ever made. With this record we were looking for the raw, naked and personal, to strip everything back.'”

Family? Friends? Intimate? Naked and personal? Strip everything back? How does that sound? Need I say more?

Tim Cook; a 54-year-old gay man
with the body of an 18-year old boy.
Not only this, but a few days after the album was imposed on the public through Apple’s iTunes, Tim Cook, the CEO of the Apple Corporation and the prime decision-maker of the move to release U2 on iTunes, came out as openly gay!!!! Coincidence? Of course not!

Not only this, but despite his silver hairs, Tim Cook, like many gay men, has taken special care of his body, staying extremely slim and keeping his skin soft with moisturizers and other unguents.

Have the pennies dropped yet or do I need to say more?Think about it:
  • An album we all know to be terrible is imposed on an unwilling public by the machinations of an older gay man with the slender body of a much younger man.
  • That same album is “adorned” with an image of the band’s best-looking member in an obvious homoerotic pose that suggests he is about to give oral sex to a man with the slender body of a young man topped by a much older head that we of course do not see.
  • The band’s leader Bono, who is notoriously tight fisted about money, makes thinly-veiled remarks that hint at gay sex.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this little puzzle out, of how a washed-out, clapped-out 80s rock band and a gay CEO came to a mutually beneficial arrangement. After all, in the music business, it has never been about who you know. It's about who you blow. Now, the next question is: Do U2 spit or swallow?

The Fly
Revenge of Riff Raff

12th Novemeber, 2014

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  1. Agreed, it's no biggie. Thanks to PC propaganda male-to-male anal bum sex has an almost saintly glow to it these days - but that's the last thing you want if you're in a rock band.